I started writing this at the beginning of the month, and I just haven’t had the right words to say. But here it is:
Wow..it’s already 2014..I love the inspiration that the Christmas and New Year season brings. It’s not about getting flashy gifts from people, or going out to party with my friends…but, celebrating this new life that was given for us! Shortly after, we all get ready to count in the New Year all around the world! The idea of having a “blank slate” reminds me that I can do anything. Sometimes people get overwhelmed by that feeling, but I love the freedom in it now.
I especially loved counting into 2014 in a whole other country. Not being stuck in the same life, constantly running around in circles worrying about what’s next. It’s so wonderful knowing that there are endless possibilities in this life. We aren’t bound to anything that we don’t choose for ourselves. That’s the beauty in life that i’ve failed to see.
When I decided to sign up for this year…I felt very similar to the feeling that every person gets at the start of a new year. The idea of living my life somewhere far away felt so invigorating and freeing. Now that i’m here..I’ve had some interesting and amazing experiences. But, I let myself grow comfortable. Something I’ve discovered about myself in the last four years of my life is that when I become too comfortable, I grow discontent and honestly…pretty damn lazy…With comfortability my faith life grows stagnant. I had stopped thinking about the things I was thankful for, and ways I had seen God…and focused on all of the negative things I’ve been feeling.
Well I was having a talk with Rosie (one of my supervisors) one day, and she asked me about how i’ve felt that I had grown in my faith in the last 5 months…I didn’t really have a good answer. She proceeded to tell me that she looks at every day and tries to see at least one way she’s seen God in that last 24 hours. Some days we have to look harder than others, of course…but in that comes the strength of even getting through the worst of days. On our best days we can see God everywhere, and we feel so lucky to be alive! Well I officially have a new goal for 2014/ my year here in the UK: Sit down, breathe, and look at just one way every single day that I’ve seen God.
It started that I was looking at things I was thankful for in the beginning….and somewhere in the middle of being here I realized I wasn’t thankful anymore. I was unhappy, growing anxious, and looking at everything from a negative perspective. Yes, it’s hard. I’m not going to lie and say that life here has been roses and rainbows. But, it’s also rewarding. I’ve grown so much. Every day we have a blank slate. We can re-write the pages of our lives, and see that God is everywhere and everything is spiritual. Even the cloudiest, and loneliest of days seem to have a God filled presence about them.
I’ve been leaning towards the serenity prayer a lot:
“God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.”
I can’t change the way things are here, but I can change the way I look at them. Even when things seem the hardest, I always know I have something on my side. I’m winning and persevering no matter what.