The title would put me off…but it’s there for a reason. Don’t for a second think that I’m anywhere BUT where I am supposed to be…with the most supportive and nurturing people I’ve met aside from my own family. This is home for me now. One day soon I’ll post a blog of pictures and descriptions of the people I’ll be working with and what EXACTLY i’ll be doing. For now, that’s all really still up in the air.
Today, I wasn’t feeling very well…and instead of asking for help, I sat in my room…cried, watched a TON of netflix, and suffered in silence. The whole time thinking…”I don’t want to burden these people with my problems.” I go down for dinner, which we all sit down for every night..and they can tell right away that I’m not “ok”. Ray and Sue (host parents) look at me after dinner and ask me whats wrong… and say, “Scarlett…Don’t suffer in silence. We’re here to help you! Tell us!” Sue comes over, gives me a hug, and tells me everything’s going to be ok…and helps take care of me. Just then, I, of course, start to cry. I’m consumed with so many emotions being here. It’s been two weeks now, and I’m happy, sad, anxious…completely overwhelmed.
Since i’ve been here, I can’t help but sit and think on down time of what exactly I’d be doing at home. Probably going to school, HATING it…and wishing that I could be doing something HUGE. Well, here I am…I’m doing it. I’ve left everything I’ve known to answer a call. I’ve jumped in the deep end without my swimmies, and I’m learning. Soon, I start my job..I start my life here, in Colchester, England. This Sunday I’ll even be helping lead a family church service to show that I am here, and apart of the leadership team. (who would have thunk it!)
I’ve started to make a list of things that I’m thankful for. Sometimes we pray for God to fix our burdens and sadness, and don’t stop to realize all of the gifts we are given. So now, I sit down and write out the things that I thank God for in that day. Today I’m thankful for God teaching me how to ask for help..and letting me know I’m supported.
I’ve been given a once and a lifetime opportunity to live and work day by day. Who needs to constantly be living in the future, when we have no idea what’s even going to happen in the next HOUR of our lives? For now, I’m happy with simply being here..and maybe worrying…not so much for myself at the moment..but for pedestrians..(my first driving lesson is tomorrow! eek!) I know it’s normal to feel all of these emotions…and I know i’m not alone. That’s all I can ask for…and that is what I am thankful for.
1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18 “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances: for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”