“The core of man’s spirit comes from new experiences.” -Into the Wild

 

So, this week was the start of work for me. I do everything from working in a neighborhood community center, to working with the little babies through teenagers. It’s been quite a change of pace for me because at camp I’d see kids for one week at a time, ship them off and be ready for a new set. NOW, I see these same kids every week for an entire year…I guess what they could call me around here is a “youth worker.” I’ve never lead YOUTH GROUPS..this is scary. (In a good way of course.)

Tonight I started a bible study with the older youth about seeing where we fit ourselves into God’s story..or more like how God’s story fits into our lives. Some of us grow up knowing significant parts of the bible like Noah and the Ark…but if we started to actually read it, we look at those tiny words, and UNBELIEVABLY thin pages and think…”there’s no way I can get through this all.”  Of course then we start to maybe feel guilty or get even more confused about how this HUGE book connects at ALL to our lives. So, the idea is to make this map around the books of the bible, and see how we can bring them back to our lives in a realistic way. We know there aren’t TALKING DONKEYS, or people parting water…but the words are meant to teach us lessons that we apply to OUR life story.

I know i’m going to learn just as much from this as they are.

All of these new experiences like…getting hopelessly lost in London train stations (check), or leading bible studies is helping me to figure out how God is working in my life. It’s still hard for me…being away from home and all..But I know that there’s this story that I’m writing. There’s also a way for me to fit God’s story into my life. Someone once said that these words are poetry…They’re not meant to make sense all of the time, but you’re supposed to dig deeper and read in between the lines. So I’ll continue to read, and learn, and grow…even though I get confused sometimes I know I have the tools to keep me going.

I haven’t gotten to the point where I can quote the bible by heart, but I feel like i’m starting to sound like my mother…..Sheesh.

2 Timothy 3: 14-17

“But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, and how from infancy you have known the holy scriptures which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All scripture is God-breathed  and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”

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“Don’t suffer in silence..”

The title would put me off…but it’s there for a reason. Don’t for a second think that I’m anywhere BUT where I am supposed to be…with the most supportive and nurturing people I’ve met aside from my own family. This is home for me now. One day soon I’ll post a blog of pictures and descriptions of the people I’ll be working with and what EXACTLY i’ll be doing. For now, that’s all really still up in the air.

Today, I wasn’t feeling very well…and instead of asking for help, I sat in my room…cried, watched a TON of netflix, and suffered in silence. The whole time thinking…”I don’t want to burden these people with my problems.” I go down for dinner, which we all sit down for every night..and they can tell right away that I’m not “ok”. Ray and Sue (host parents) look at me after dinner and ask me whats wrong… and say, “Scarlett…Don’t suffer in silence. We’re here to help you! Tell us!” Sue comes over, gives me a hug, and tells me everything’s going to be ok…and helps take care of me. Just then, I, of course, start to cry. I’m consumed with so many emotions being here. It’s been two weeks now, and I’m happy, sad, anxious…completely overwhelmed.

Since i’ve been here, I can’t help but sit and think on down time of what exactly I’d be doing at home. Probably going to school, HATING it…and wishing that I could be doing something HUGE. Well, here I am…I’m doing it. I’ve left everything I’ve known to answer a call. I’ve jumped in the deep end without my swimmies, and I’m learning. Soon, I start my job..I start my life here, in Colchester, England. This Sunday I’ll even be helping lead a family church service to show that I am here, and apart of the leadership team. (who would have thunk it!)

I’ve started to make a list of things that I’m thankful for. Sometimes we pray for God to fix our burdens and sadness, and don’t stop to realize all of the gifts we are given. So now, I sit down and write out the things that I thank God for in that day. Today I’m thankful for God teaching me how to ask for help..and letting me know I’m supported.

I’ve been given a once and a lifetime opportunity to live and work day by day. Who needs to constantly be living in the future, when we have no idea what’s even going to happen in the next HOUR of our lives? For now, I’m happy with simply being here..and maybe worrying…not so much for myself at the moment..but for pedestrians..(my first driving lesson is tomorrow! eek!) I know it’s normal to feel all of these emotions…and I know i’m not alone. That’s all I can ask for…and that is what I am thankful for.

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1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18 “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances: for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

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